You Are Not Failing at This. You Are Tired.

There is a specific kind of guilt that comes with manifestation work when you are worn out, and almost nobody names it.

You know what you are supposed to do.

• Sit in the feeling. 
• Raise your vibration. 
• Act as if. 
• Get up earlier. 
• Journal before the house wakes.

And somewhere underneath all of it is a quiet voice saying that if you really wanted your life to change, you would have found the energy by now. That other people manage it. That your tiredness is really just a preference, dressed up.

That voice is wrong.

Exhaustion is not a character flaw, nor evidence that you are unwilling, or unspiritual, or secretly attached to your own suffering. It is not resistance. It is not the universe testing your commitment either.

Exhaustion is a physical state, produced by a life that's been asking more of you than it gives back and people who most need this meditation work are usually the ones with the least left over. 

Think about who ends up searching for something like meditation to help solve their life problems. It's usually... well if you are like me or anyone I know, it's those whose days are already accounted for, those carrying other peoples problems. Often it's someone who has been 'The reliable One' for so long that reliability has stopped being a choice and now it just runs their entire life. Maybe it's YOU. Let me ask a question, are you someone that lies down at night with a body that refuses to switch off? Are you someone that has a mind that keeps running through lists of everything you still need to do?

You aren't short on desire. In fact, I think you desire more than most, at least more than the normal people you see everyday. This desire is exactly why you are still looking for a way to get just a bit of ease at midnight instead of closing your eyes and getting a good nights sleep.

What it seems like you are short on is capacity. No amount of wanting or desire actually creates capacity. Capacity is something you have to create, outside of the wanting.

Think about it like this. You can hold one balloon. You can hold two or three. Maybe you can manage four or five. But try holding six balloons. One of them is going to fall. On top of that, add another and another. At some point, you will drop all of them and at the very least, you will manage to hold on to only a few of the most important ones.

Lets take balloons and insert tasks.

If you are fixing breakfast and getting your kid ready for school, while watching a bit of TV in the background, everything is good. What happens though, when your spose comes in and demands your attention, then your phone rings and it's work asking about a project you forgot to turn in last night. Then your dog vomits in the floor. The door bell rings and it's amazon delivery. Ruuun to the stove because breakfast is burning but you forgot the oven mits are in the laundry so you scramble around trying to find something to move the hot pan.

Scenarios like this seem normal but they are draining you.

So we are going to try to do life differently... Let's start with the story that you are already tired. Let's see if we can figure out a way to relax, just for a moment....